我觉得你的大纲写得不错，但是你的 paragraph 好像没有跟到你的大纲。而且，中学的英文作文字数要多一点，内容也要比较多，要扩充，要 descriptive 多一点。
所以 我会建议你的 paragraph 2 可以根据你的大纲形容多一些餐馆的 decoration/气氛 还有 menu.
那么你的一部分 paragraph 2 的 point 就可以搬去 paragraph 3 了，再加上结尾就可以了。
Paragraph 1 可以补充以下几点：
- 是什么特别的事情让你们去这间餐馆？ celebration? 比如 Mother's day celebration or just family/friends gathering?
- 多少人数参加？example: There's 12 of us and we fit on a long table. Luckily we made a reservation before hand.
Paragraph 2 can focus more on the restaurant
- Can describe who recommend this restaurant? Is it a western/chinese restaurant? What is it famous for? What type of food does it serve? fusion? asian? chinese? french cuisine etc..
- What is your first impression when you first reach the restaurant?
- How was the decoration/ambience/atmosphere? cosy? high class?
- Example: The atmosphere is very cozy, with nice design and intimate lighting.
- Describe the menu, for example, it contains a lot of variety.. example: The menu offerred a mouth-watering starters.
- Describe the price (slightly expensive or affordable/reasonable etc)
- Briefly use one or two sentence to describe the dishes you've order. Example, everyone of us ordered a main dish according to each preferences. Then we also ordered some side dishes such as mashed potato, vegetables salad etc.
Paragraph 3:
- Paragraph 3 开头可以写 It's not a long wait before the food arrived.
- Then you can describe specifically about the food you've ordered and tasted. How it was served? For example, you can describe the food you've ordered. I have ordered a ... and it was a well-prepared delectable meal with great presentation and an interesting flavor I had never experienced before.”
- Or you can describe generally about the food served for everyone instead.
Ending:
- Overall, the service was wonderful and the food was amazing, it really made our dining experience enjoyable
- We would definitely return again for the next round of celebration.
希望能够帮助到你。要注意字数，如果太长，要摘选内容。
