英文作文

Question

昨天，我的英文补习给我做作文。我写完了后，老师给我（22/50)分，我不知道自己错在哪里，但是我的老师没有说我错在哪里？

这是我的作文（由于我到现在还不会放图片，所以没图片。。）

我不知道我错在哪里，如果发现我的作文错在哪里，或者要加什么字。请在下面写，谢谢。

Last school holiday, Shayne visited her grandparents. Her grandparents was showing her some of the old albums of her mother childhood photographs.

   She took some of the albums back home. During her free time, she picked some picture that she like and scanned  and arranged them into a big picture.Finally,she printed the picture out and framed it.

 

  On her mother birthday, she give her mother the gift she made. Her mother extremely amazed with her collection of her mother photo at different stages of her mother’s life. Her mother is very touched and thanked for the amazing gift.

Answer 1

     Last school holiday, Shayne visited her grandparents. Her grandparents was were showing her some of the old albums of her mother's childhood photographs.

    She took some of the albums back home. During her free time, she picked some pictures that she like.Shayne scanned and arranged them together into a big picture.Finally,she printed the picture out and framed put it in a frame.

  On her mother's birthday, she give gave her mother the gift that she made. Her mother was extremely amazed with her collection of her mother's photos at different stages of her mother's life. Her mother is was very touched and thanked profusely for the amazing gift.She was like a dog with two tails as her mother liked her present.

可以加上的优美字:
1.her heart burst with happiness 开心
2.She was like a dog with two tails 开心(帮你放了：D）
3.greatly surprised 非常惊喜 
4.It was a whale of time 一个快乐的时光

代表：
     要删除掉的字
     要加进来的字

希望你会明白(oﾟvﾟ)ノ
希望我可以帮助到你：）
我们是全A生！
爱的鼓励！
请勿抄袭！！！
有错误请评论

Comments

你好 Adrian
你的句子很棒
第三段第一个句子应该是" she gave "
第三段第二个句子应该是" of her mother's photos "
接下去的句子应该是Her mother ' was ' very touched
最后一个句子 She was like a dog with two tails as ' her ' 然后like我不确定需不需要past tense;-)

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谢谢提醒哦：）

Answer 2

你的句子有语法错误

不确定对不对，如果有错请纠正

Last school holiday, Shayne went to village to visit her grandparents. (这边可以多加句子，如Her grandparents felt on top of the world to meet her.)They showed Shayne some old albums of her mother's childhood photographs.
(这边是我多加的句子：Shayne spent a memorable and happy holiday at village.)

Shayne brought some albums home.During her free times,she picked some pictures that she like and arranged them into a new album.She also decorated the cover of the album herself with glitters and magic pens.
(你好，我不明白你的最后第二个句子的意思，“into a big picture”，所以改掉了)

When her mother's birthday approached来临, she gave her mother the album as present.Her mother was surprised and amazed with the present.She thanked Shayne for the present.Shayne felt glad that her mother liked her present.

Comments

请说明他所有的语法错误

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谢谢Chan Ye & Adrian :-D

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xin yi，我觉得你可以把你的答案修改到你的回答里，会更加的完整

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@Lee Xin Yi 不用客气,我们一起加油哦！：D

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你们的回答都很好=）

Answer 3

建议加的优美字/句子:

-weather-sunny,splendid,rainy,lovely,cloudy,breezy.....

-mood-

happily,excited,extremely excited,on the top of the world,on cloud nine,enjoy,as happy as a king,in seventh heaven,overjoyed.....

-another-

praised Shayne proudly

It was a remembrance day/memorable experience for them.

错误请纠正。谢谢。

Comments

？？？？

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你根本就没说他错什么。。。。

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你们都说了，我就让他加分就好了啊！